The participants, Noah Wardrip-Fruin:

Hi Donna - here are my initial thoughts, as I lie in bed with bronchitis.

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 My impression of the piece so far is that it's evocative, imaginative, and well-constructed.
- I'm wondering, is there a way to clarify (with sound?) when to click, when to mouseover, when to wait? I feel like I've lost an opportunity to pay attention when I realize I should have been watching and waiting instead of looking for a place to click.
- Is there a way to go back as well as forward in the books? On my first reading I skipped over the first few pages of Christian's scrapbook, and then I felt unsatisfied when I couldn't return.
- The x marks for navigation through the sub-segments work well. Visually unobtrusive, clear in their function.
- Do you want notes about animation problems (e.g., if you open the minister's bottom drawers before the top, the composite looks wrong...)?
- In the Elvis Costello part there's a misspelling (young man *in* do believe you're dying). And I think, toward the end, "only" and "guessing" might be transposed. Also, it might be intentionally altered, but I think I remember "breaking" where you have "looking."
- in the segment launched by the branch behind the building, the animations of the creatures "operating" Christian from behind are beautiful. However, I think they lose some of their power when they repeat - so this probably should be prevented.
- One thing I found myself wondering, as my mouseovers did things like make flowers bloom, is whether there was a consequence to these actions - was I altering the world model, or just creating an aesthetic moment?
- got stuck when I reached the part where the big building rises on the horizon and the snow starts. I think I moused over every element on the screen without finding an active one. I started my reading over and got stuck again. This is why I'm writing to you now - I can't get further. Do you know if anyone with a setup like mine (mac laptop, safari) has gotten past this point?
Congratulations on what I've seen so far. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest!
Noah
 
Hi Donna -

It's a mysterious and compelling piece. Thanks for inviting me to be an early reader.

Seeing the second half, and reading the text about the historical Christian, has made me feel a bit torn. The atmosphere and imagery of the piece continue to work for me, but I've started to feel frustrated in my attempts to put together a larger understanding (this joins some continuing frustration in trying to find links).
 
Part of the problem I'm having putting together a larger picture is that - having read the text about Christian - I'm mystified by the high rise buildings and alarm clocks and such. Is this a modern reinterpretation of Christian's story? The small amount of text doesn't seem to indicate it is, though the text's diction is modern (and so is its scrapbook presentation). Are there still Lairds? While thinking on this point I feel I'm probably missing something fundamental to what you're doing in this piece. When reading the text about Christian I at first felt "Ah-ha, it comes together!" And then I thought, "Uh-oh, what is it I'm missing here?"
 
In terms of the piece's progression, I wonder why one loses the opportunity for certain kinds of interaction. For example, why does the blob on top of one of the buildings at some points open it up (and then eventually reveal curled-up people) and at other points not, even if we haven't seen it yet during that reading? Similarly, I wonder why it's possible to progress while viewing such differing amounts of content. I know your structure must be purposeful, but I'm a bit puzzled.
 
I'm also wondering what the piece gains, for the interactor, by the hiddeness of many of the links. Is it to stimulate close examination of the images? For me it sometimes caused close examination, and at other times it stimulated periods of either orderly or random mouse sweeping and clicking. For example, after the big building and its stairs and setting are built out, I spent quite a while looking for the bump on the hill that brings the grass (despite the fact that it moves, as I discovered going through the piece again). In the situations in which the project is waiting for a click, perhaps after some sort of timer goes off the next mouse click should be interpreted as a click on whatever active point is closest (including, if there's only one, that one)?
 
Now for a couple smaller points. Speaking of clicking, during the opening state it's rather odd that one mouses over the windows of the buildings and gets the cue to click, but clicking does nothing. On a different note, the transition to the epilogue (the section with the text and the four versions of Christian's image) didn't seem distinct enough to me. Even with the fading out and music, I didn't realize that I wasn't looking for more of the same.
 
Overall, my biggest curiosity is about what your goals are for the piece. Are you, by any chance, going to tell us test readers a bit more now that you've gotten our blind reactions? As I'm writing this note, I suspect that the piece actually aims to be a kind of lyric meditation on the Christian story and some of the images and ideas it brings forth - rather than a version of Christian's narrative. If I'm right about that, then perhaps communicating that is the biggest challenge in completing the piece. The next biggest challenge is probably something I mentioned in my last email: finding a way to signal (perhaps with audio) when the interactor should be waiting, mousing around, or looking for a place to click.
 
Hopefully this doesn't sound terribly negative. These "feedback" setups do tend to lead to a focus on the things that one would like to see worked further. The most important thing I have to say is that I think the project is often beautiful, and I'm not likely to forget it any time soon.
Best,
Noah
February, 2004